I have no idea why.
It's a question that gets thrown my way every so often, and no matter how many times I have fielded said question, it still manages to surprise me.
Actually, it's two questions, but they both relate to me being a bellydancer and the acceptance of various members of my family supporting this rather than disowning me or having me stoned to death.
Apparently, I was to seek permission prior to deciding to take up my chosen art form.
The question is basically the same in both instances, but the parties from whom I am to seek blessings for my choice are twofold.
The question - or really the statement - is:
"Your husband let's you bellydance?!"
"It's okay with your family that you're a bellydancer?!"
Let's start with the spouse issue.
Welcome to the 21st Century. In this day and age women are no longer chattel. I am not a posession of my husband any more than he is owned by me. I can vote, go out without an escort, own property (well, co-own as it were) and even yes, be a bellydancer without getting anyone's stamp of approval.
Let's be very clear here, people; my husband does not let me do a damned thing.
That is not to indicate that we don't discuss what I do with my time or that I don't check in with him before booking new classes, workshops or shows in case there is any conflict with our mutual plans or schedules. That's not asking his permission; that is simply being courteous to the man I have chosen to share my life with by indicating that his own separate plans, schedule and yes, opinions, figure prominently into my life. We are married. We share a home, two fur babies and a slew of joint expenses so indeed his thoughts are indeed a serious consideration in everything I do - not just dance.
Heck, he frequently forgets to tell people that I do, in fact, have a regular day job (well okay not right at this exact moment but in general I am employed) and just tells people that I bellydance. That includes his family, friends, colleagues and random cab drivers - kid you not.
We have a mutual respect for each other as well as a deep, passionate love. But again, please, let me stress this one more time:
My husband does not let me do things.
The second question involves my family.
My family is Jewish. Apparently, this necessitates a problematic concern when it comes to being what is also commonly known as a Middle Eastern Dance Artist.
It's that darned "Middle Eastern" thing that really seems to get people's jaws dropping.
I have a bit of news for those of you not up on your current world geography:
Israel (though I am personally not Israeli) is in the Middle East.
Yeah, I know. Kinda caught you off guard there, didn't I?
My presumption is that since bellydance is more commonly associated with Arabic cultures and music is that this should, therefore, cause immeasurable grief for my family.
Alas, it does not.
My mom thinks it's pretty darn cool that I bellydance. She tells all her clients and friends that her daughter is a bellydancer and is thrilled that I have embraced the love of dance she herself possesses. She hoped when she first started me on the path to dance as a child that I would make it a part of my life. While she herself was never a bellydancer, she is, nonetheless, proud that it's what I do.
My dad simply can't understand why I'd want to dance to Middle Eastern music. That's because every time he hears it, all he can think about is being in shul (synagogue or temple for those not familiar with the term) because it reminds him of the Canter that sings the prayers during service and he always hated going every Saturday for service.
So please. Let's finally put this topic to rest. I dance because I choose to dance. I bellydance because that is my chosen form of dance and I am proud to be a bellydancer. This is who I am, what I am and where I fit into the world. If you don't like it, that's your funeral, not mine.
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