Wednesday 29 January 2014

Mirror, Mirror

Anytime I get a video or YouTube clip of a performance I have done I always need to take a deep breath before I hit play. In part this is because I really do hate to watch myself on video, but the other is the issue of not knowing what I'm going to see. The thing is, while I do have a pretty decent personal space to practise in, I don't have a great spot to record my rehearsals to watch myself before I perform.

Hence the anxiety.

There is then that sigh of relief "oh thank the gods it looked okay!" as well as the occasional "what the f*ck was that?!" as I sit gritting my teeth as mini me dances across my laptop.

See, while I don't thrill to watching me on video, I have come to appreciate what I can learn from watching myself. I have gone from simply viewing video as a sublime form of self-torture to the learning tool it actually is. I've even used it get feedback different dance teachers so they can get a feel for what I am having problems with or what they see that I may not.

I am proud of myself that I can now look at video with a critical eye rather than a pained expression, but that, alas, does not remedy my situation of how to record my practise.

So I've done what I think is the next best thing - I got a full length mirror for my rehearsal space so I can see what I'm doing while I'm working on improv, drills and choreography.

While - to date - I have been pretty lucky that generally what feels good when I'm working on a piece translates into good performance, there are times when I want to try something new, like the piece I did in December at the last Dark Salon at The Dark Side Studio. I was very nervous because I was going outside my regular comfort zone of upbeat, cheeky and playful into the somewhat darker and moodier side of my persona:


Fortunately I was pretty happy how it turned out and the feedback I received when I saw the clip, but it was that performance that made me realize I could possibly cut down on performance anxiety and feel more free to try new stuff if I could see it before I performed it. Example, I can see where I need to work isolations, finesse arm and hand positions or improve on how I use the space I am working in.

Thus the mirror now standing in my den.

I am finding it so far a great help, particularly as I drill new technique and try new music. I am planning on going moody again for my upcoming Dancenette performance in May, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up my sassy side!

My lovely new mirror!


Thursday 23 January 2014

Confessions of a Former Ballerina

I have been dancing since my mother first put me into ballet at the age of three. She was determined that I would have good posture and, since she herself was a dancer, hoped that I would be as smitten with the art as she was.

On all fronts, it worked.

Example: a few years ago at a Christmas party a woman who was a kinesiologist literally crossed the room to tell me she thought I had fantastic posture. When I told her I was a dancer, she simply nodded and said "of course!"

Since I had always danced, when I was approached by a friend to try a bellydance class I figured it would be fairly easy to grasp and was eager to try. After all, I'd survived the rigours of pointe shoes, how bad or hard could this be??

Famous last words, as they say...

The first thing I was floored by was a positive - my hips were now an asset!! I had been horribly disappointed when at the ripe old age of 15 it was made clear to me I'd never make it in the professional dance world because I was too short and it was clear I was already developing hips. Short and curvy does not a ballerina nor a Broadway star make. While I stuck it out taking classes and performing simply because I loved what I was doing, there was always a dark cloud of futility hanging over my head.

Back to my first couple of years of bellydance...

In ballet, nothing, and I mean nothing, in the torso moves. everything is executed with a straight back, butt slightly tucked in and shoulders back and down. While some of that translates well and has helped me in bellydance, the whole "no movement in the torso" thing has been a nightmare. While things like arabesques and chaine turns came quickly because the moves were so similar to ballet, tap and jazz moves, undulations and chest circles were to become the bane of my existence. My chest didn't want to move. My abs were loathe to let go. It was a nasty struggle and a lot of mental strain to just let my body go and feel the new movements. It was a long time before I could perform any of them and not look like I was torturing myself!

The other nasty was my feet. For me, neutral position is roughly ballet first position with the heels together, toes pointed out:

Heck, even when I'm just casually standing my feet find themselves quite naturally falling into third position:
In bellydance, neutral has both feel together, and for me this is as awkward as trying to dance whilst doing a hand stand. What it unfortunately meant though, was that my hip movements - such as straight drops and 3/4 walks - went side to side rather than up to down. I have had to constantly make a very conscious effort to keep my feel in this new neutral and to this day need to remind myself to modify my feet to keep my movements clear.

Over the years I have become more adept at letting my body do what bellydancing asks of me. I remember to keep my abs tight to control isolations, let my shoulders relax to execute chest moves, keep my knees always slightly bent to make snakes and mayas smooth and to remember to always look up and keep my eyes open to better communicate with my audience. But still, while it gets easier (meaning more natural), it never becomes easy, if you know what I mean. Still, the years I was a little ballerina helped shape the dancer I am today and for that I will always look upon them with happiness and fond remembrance.

My very first ballet recital at four-years old

Saturday 18 January 2014

Dance and Life Goals for 2014

I think it's important as a dance artist - and in life in general - to always set new goals. It helps give me something specific to work towards and keeps me from getting into the feeling that's it's all just "routine." Every year I try to set at least three goals for myself for dance and three for the other side of my life. Some years are easier than others either because I've seen something that makes my brain scream "I wanna learn how to do that!!!!" like when I first saw double cane being performed or just circumstances dictating such as right now being out of work and needing to find a new job.

I also like to write my goals down. The act of putting pen to paper (or in this case fingers to keyboard) solidifies the goals and sets intention to actually complete them. I also like to share my goals with people so that I have that added little pressure of knowing folks are going to be checking in to see if I've achieved what I've set out to do and in some cases keep up a bit of social pressure to make sure I do the work needed to achieve what I've set out to do!

So here we go - dance goals first - this year I will:

1. Perform a piece with zills and perform a piece with fan veils. I have always loved zills and am now loving fan veils so it's about time to bite the bullet as it were and stop being petrified of new props! My first step will be to take some workshops that focus on these two props and make sure I practice the technique. Ironically I have songs already picked out that I want to use (does anyone else do that? Listening randomly to music and something just screams out "I MUST DANCE TO THIS AND IT MUST BE WITH <insert prop here>!!"). Anyone else looking out for upcoming prop workshops, Roula Said has two more zill workshops in her winter series February 2 and March 2, and the lovely Ruyah is doing a fan veil workshop at Dragonfly on February 15.

2. Improvise more. I tend to get paranoid when I am performing - particularly when it's a performance in front of other dancers - and choreograph the hell out of a piece of music, kicking myself in the butt when I miss part of the choreography. I also tend to get so focused on what steps I'm supposed to be doing I miss out on actually just dancing and enjoying myself. I dance and I perform because I love the whole experience, time to kick it up a notch!

3. Maintain this blog. That may seem outside of an actual dance goal but in my other life I am a writer and I think it's time the two worlds meet. I did write a couple of articles for Mid Bits when it was around, but I think writing this blog that is focused on dance will keep me focused and help me reach my other goals. My aim is a minimum one post a week.

Other life goals for 2014:

1. I will find a new job that is perfectly suited to my skills with great people and a healthy environment.

2. I will continue to lose the weight I put on this summer after my knee surgery by continuing to work out hard and regularly as well as keeping up dance classes and practicing.

3. I will get out and socialize more. Personal issues have made me something of a hermit the past couple of years.

I think that covers it! Anyone who has goals for 2014 - dance or otherwise - feel free to comment and share!

Thursday 16 January 2014

It's About Time!

So I have been meaning to get a blog going again for some time now, but being the expert procrastinator that I am, it can take me a while to get my hips in gear.

The main reason I was at a loss as to where to begin is I wasn't sure that:
a) I have anything particularly interesting to say
b) Anyone would really be interested anyway
c) I would have the drive to - once started - keep the blog going
d) All of the above

That said, here I go. What in the world will I find to write about? Well, seeing as I am a belly dancer and this is going to primarily be about my experiences, I will most likely be writing about dance, dancers, classes, workshops and performances. If you're lucky, I will also share photos, videos and notes on my quest for new music to dance to and the joys (insert eye roll here) of creating choreography and working on my improv skills.

So for now, here it is. In all it's glory. Waiting for divine inspiration and brilliance.

For 2014 - aside from my quest for a new job so I can continue to pay for my creative addiction (most belly dancers will admit that it's not about wanting to dance, it's about having to dance) - I am hoping to do more solo work, improve my base technique, learn some new and funky technique from the plethora of great instructors out there, and get nice and comfy with my props, particularly zills, veil and fan veils.

So without further ado, here I am. Let's see where this journey leads me...